Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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What do you call this? A sentence in English.

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so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

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Why dont jews eat pork? Because the torah doesnt allow cannibalism

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat

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you had me at "hello", no need to add "you're under arrest"

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A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

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Soccer...

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Knock, Knock Why did you just say knock knock?

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(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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What is black white and red all over A tree in black, white, and red paint.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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Why didn't the caterpillar turn into a butterfly? Because it was a cheeto

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whats worse than having your sextape leaked to the media? not being a kardashian when it happens.

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whats better than sex with a 12 year old?? nothing

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Q: What do you call three black people in a car? A: Maltesers

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your mammas so poor she is probably going die in a few days of starvation

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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