Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Ham and Cheese!

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Why did Dom stop smoking He didnt I lied

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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YOLO.

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A black man, a Mexican man and a white man walk into a bank. The black man reaches into his bag and pulls out his bank card, the Mexican and the the white man do the same as they need to withdraw money.

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how do you find will smith in the snow? with rescue dogs

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The IRS. You didn't pay your taxes so we have to take you to jail.

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Q: How many years does it take for a deer to grow into a moose? A: 7

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Why did the man walk into the bar? Because he wasn't looking where he was going

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What do you call a dancing panda bear? I'm not sure, but panda bears are pretty big, so the possibility of them dancing is highly unlikely.

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

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(Put joke here)

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What was jesus's first miracle? He made a blind man walk. And for the stupid people out there jesus's first supposed miracle was making a cripple Walk

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Flying aboriginal on a magic carpet

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A Knock, Knock B There's no door. What are you knocking on?

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What happened to the boy who lost his arm? He got on suprisingly well in life considering he has the use of only one arm, and got a terrific job. He managed to meet a woman, , and he was a generally happy guy. He lived to a great age, and he, nor anyone around him, ever thought of him as different or disabled. It's good to hear a happy anti joke once in a while isn't it guys?

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? bullshit!!

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A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

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Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

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Gorden Brown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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