how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Jews

thumb_up thumb_down -12

how do you stop a bus? shout FOR ALLAH!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why aren't there alligators in a bookstore? Because alligators would pose a danger to customers.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

thermodynamics?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between donuts and dead babies? You can't buy a bakers dozen of dead babies at Tim Hortons.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How did the suicide bomber die? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? Because Johnny's a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

So an Indian walks into a bar and says: ? ?? ??? ?????? ??? ??? ? ??? ??? ??????

thumb_up thumb_down -14

why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -14

So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A gay man came out 5 years ago, he also has not heard his farts since... He lost his ears in a boating accident that same year

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did Sally fall of the swing....she had no arms. knock knock who's there? NOT Sally.....

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Think of your favorite joke. Thats so weird! Thats exactly the same as this joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops