A man walks into a man walks into a man walks into a man.

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So, why is winter so terrible? Because, Napoleon was stopped by winter and we aren't all French.

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Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

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What did the little boy say after he was pushed off the cliff? Nothing. He died, therefore, he is incapable of speaking.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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Roses are red violets are blue my d*** is bigger than you.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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Turn around.

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Q: why was the movie called the last house on the left? A: because they went to the last house that was on the left.

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

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women's rights.

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How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

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how many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb just 2 but it beats me how they got in there

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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PUDDING

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As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

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Q: Whats better than 10 baby's nailed to 1 tree. A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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why is the black man black? because he isnit white

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What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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A coach and a priest walk into a boys and girls club and kick out all the girls.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sun is bright.

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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