Knock Knock. Who's there? Bob

A duck sits down at a bar and orders a drink. After he finishes, he gets up to leave, when the bartender says, "Excuse me, sir, but you didn't pay for your drink." The duck turned around and said, "I'm sorry, I forgot." So he paid the bartender for the drink and left him a nice tip, and left the bar in a good mood.

When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

There was this cat, and he was walking down this long road, knowing a dog lived on 45 lake avenue. So the cat was very careful while walking by that house so the dog and his diqqas wouldnt chase the cat, named pat. So like a rogue in the arathi basen lodge, he made his way over the stone wall and ran as quickly as he could through the muddy path of dirt. This cat was also swagged out of control, so he had mad bitches. That is where Pat was heading....... to his mad bitches. He had never met these bitches, but bought them offline on a p0rn website that said he would become the man if he purchased the mad hot bitches. When he found the bitches, he shit himself. The bitches were female dogz. if you read this whole paragraph, a fraction of your soul has been ripped out of you. UMAD? ˜´??

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally becase she fell off the swing.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

cancer

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS.

Doctor: Knock knock... Patient: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting doctor... Patient: Interrupting doct-- Doctor: You have cancer.

call me a bitch You're a bitch Only bitches do what they are told!

Shut the cork up!

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

Waseem is sad because all his jokes are not funny!

who is mark

I'm gay. No homo.

"I like my women like I like my spare tires, in the trunk of my car." -Paul Alangadan

call 803-389-9808 for a good time ;D

Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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