Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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Someone asked me yesterday why my friend Portier is named after a sports car... I mean, fair enough, it is a common misconception but they live in the country and her Dad drives a tractor; think it through. [L]

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Why does it take more than one blond to replace a light bulb? Because one had no arms, thus requiring the help of another person. It just so happened that that other person was a blond.

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God bless America, and no where else.

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Where does lady gags buy her bran flakes ? Sainsburys

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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how many blonds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one, because she is an intelligent and capable woman

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Knock, Knock Who's There A dyslexic kid with aides

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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How are friends like bananas? If you peel off their skin and eat them, they die.

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What does rainbow stand for? Rick Astley Is Nesting By Our Window to harass us

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whats red and black and green all over? a paint job gone bad

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Nippies

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guess what what that wasnt it

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Do you want to French kiss? What are you, racist

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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I was born.

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the WNBA

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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