.....Carrot Top....

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesnt mean their not there...

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How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Black guy? A pizza can serve a family of four.

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This is an anti-joke.

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what's the worst part of your kid dying the clean up

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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Wanna here a funny joke Oh right. You can't hear

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

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What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

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How do you make a Plumber cry? Kill his family.

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When life gives you lemons, you realise that life isn't a physical object and therefore you have problems. Have a nice day.

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u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

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why does it suck to be a black jew you get the back of the oven

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrarri? A dead baby is a non-living human, while a Ferrarri is a brand of car.

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Ask me if I'm a tree... Are you a tree? No.

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Which came first the chicken or the egg? The egg because if a chicken came first then that means chickens magically appeared. Eggs however may change over time through evolution by a common ancestor because after millions of years of hatching, it slowly mutated by natural selection and became to what is now known as the domestic chicken. (Applause)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops