Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

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what happened to your gran you tell me

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What happened to the Jew with a boner that ran into a wall? He broke his nose.

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who is awesome? no one...

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Why was Susan tied up on the railroad tracks? Because she was a blonde and her dad told her it was a roller coaster.

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

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Is your friend gay? Yeah, duh, of course he's happy.

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What did the german get for christmas? an Easy-Bake oven and a G.I. Jew

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? Doormat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was disowned by his family due to his drug addiction and had nowhere else to go.

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whats worse then the worst thing that happened in your life? nothing.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, And I'm color blind, So I don't give a shit

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How did the asian find his family? He didn't because they all look the same.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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What did the Jew say to the other Jew? Found a penny the other day....

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Why did the man go to the toilet with his brother? Because Mario and Luigi had to go down in it.

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What did one black guy say to the other black guy? I haven't thought of it yet....

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about the green and the wheels.

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What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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Whats the difference between a dead cat and a woman. The cat had a life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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