There are two types of people in the world: humans

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Sarah Palin, George Bush Jr and Glenn Beck are having a massive orgy with an illegal mexican immigrant, a member of the NAACP and an empathetic selfless homosexual democrat...no condoms were used because only felatio and cunilingus was being performed...

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What's the difference between a cow and a purple sweater? They're both purple Besides the cow

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Your mama's so fat she can't have children.

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What's worse then finding a repeated joke on antijokes? Finding a real joke.

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Why didn't the boy get his sister a birthday present? Because it wasn't her birthday.

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Knock, knock (No one was home)

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A very unskillful basketball team enters a basketball tournament. They had little chance of winning and concluded with a loss.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Toys -Lets Go MEts

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Want to hear a joke? Jokes are not allowed on this site. Only anti-jokes.

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Why did the womens basketball team beat the mens? the men were locked in a refrigerator

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what smells worse then shit Drew White

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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Your mama is so fat, her gravitational field varies with distance cubed!

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

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If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

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There is a Mexican and a Black guy in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican, you racist bastard.

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When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

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I saw a butterfly yesterday with no wings so I poured some red bull on it and BAM! it drowned.

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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Why were little Suzie's parents crying? Suzie was kidnapped by Al Qeada

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Fuzzy Whuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Whuzzy has no hair. Fuzzy Whuzzy has Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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