When life gives you lemons you get sugar and water and make some good lemonaide.

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Joseph had been temporarily blinded for over a year. While blind, he saw the doctor who told him he would regain sight the next morning when he woke up. For this special moment, Joseph decided that the first thing he wanted to see was his wife. So, his wife decided to stay up all night so she was in the right position for when Joseph woke up. However, when Joseph woke up and opened his eyes his wife wasn't there so he was a little bit annoyed.

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A: How much do you love me? B: Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. A: But, it's morning. B: Exactly.

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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pineapples

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24

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Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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whats white and lives in a tree a fridge

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems are pointless Refrigerator.

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What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

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so i turned on my radio.. so i could like listen to some tunes but like, it wasnt working and then like my best bud leaf was all like dude, thats a toaster.

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Guess What? What? The gludeus maximus of an avian farm bird

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? neither has he

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Q: What do Obama and George Washington have in common? A: They are both intelligent, trustworthy presidents who truly care for what is best for the United States. Except for Obama.

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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