What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Yo momma is so fat, I gave her a cupcake and she enjoyed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Yourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr soo uglyyyyyy

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a black airman? A pilot!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

thumb_up thumb_down +38

One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What did the man do when he won the lottery? A: He kept it for himself and left his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Hgiugsf s8dyfgc sdyhgd©•øˆ????ª•†®???ßßs cdiug dvyg 34t5 fd87 vrry utgg erug 46 5gtyrue fVTU? Tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A black man in a country bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is it hot outside? Because God made it so.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops