Can you see this brett? Connor

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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What has wings and flies at night? A black man with wings

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Why did Jack explode? He had a sneezier and his army friend Stephan threw a grenade at him because he was scared.

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YOUIR MAMA IS SO UGLY THAT SHE MIGHT WANT TO LOOK INTO PLASTIC SURGERY TO BETTER HER APPEARENCE

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Wats worse than bitting into apple and finding a worm Bitting into an apple and finding an alligator

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What happened to the man who worshiped Satan when he died? He died.

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What do you call an amazing, funny, beautiful, nice, goreous, stunning girl? Adena Gabrysiak <3

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What did the Priest say to the Rabbi? Nothing. The Priest was mute and the Rabbi was deaf.

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What time is it when grandpa sits ontop of a telephone pole and throws pineapples at people? Time to go to a nursing home

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ask if someone wants to hear a joke then say "never mind"

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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A man walks up to a woman in a bar. They hit it off. That night they make wild sex and fall madly in love with each other. They start dating, it's so fantastic. They understand each other on almost every emotional and intellectual level. They have the same humor and they love spending time together. The sex is so great. After a few years, they get married, and they start the rest of their lives together. They have 2 beautiful children and their lives are blossoming. Fast forward 30 years. They are both retired old people, yet still madly in love. They live in their old home, and their lives are very comfortable. Their children have grown up into adults, and are very happy. Fast forward another 10 years, and they now live in an elderly home. They are both in wheelchairs and their health is slowly deteriorating. They die.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

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Q: What did one poor guy say to the other poor guy? A: We're both black

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Abe Lincoln, George Washington, George Bush and Barack Obama are sitting at a table at a bar. They all realize that none of them know each other, wonder when in time they are, have mental breakdowns, and run screaming into the night.

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knock knock go away

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Why is god mean? Cause he doesn't like you.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

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"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

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Q:Why did the man have a lot of Hoes? A: He was an experienced Agriculturalist.

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How much cocaine has Charlie Sheen done? enough to put your health at risk

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monkey sponge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops