Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

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Roses are penis Violets are penis I like penis Penis

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Why couldn't the ten year old watch a porno movie? Because it was on blu-ray and his family only owned a regular dvd player.

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What's a slang term for a really, really fat person? Overweight.

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You won't put that in your ass.... No shit.

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Knoc nock whos dere ronnie turiaf...... Ronnie turiaf who Dennis rodman

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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Why did the bartender cry when a construction worker ordered a Jack and Coke? His son Jack had run away five years ago to sell cocaine; his father hadn't seen him since.

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Roses are red violets are blue whats the opposite of skiny again cause i think that's you

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I like to eat people

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because he was a pussy.

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Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

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You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

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How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for the black guy.

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Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair because the vest has no sleeves.

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Q: why are black people good at basketball? A: because they practice

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Why couldn't the man speak any English? Because not everyone can.

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What happens when a llama falls off a cliff? It dies.

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What do Jews, Muslims and Blacks have in common? They are all valuable members of the community and should be treated no differently from anyone else

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Reed is poopin

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Q: What's the worst part about being a black Jew? A: You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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