Why was the monkey sad? Because somebody stole his banana. Why was the monkey happy? Because your parents are dead.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A game of one-on-one basketball in a common physical education class in present day mexico city.

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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If a midget is mentally retarded and always late for work, is it okay to call him a little tardy?

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

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what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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Q:why did the woman make a sandwitch. A: cause she is a woman

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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DANA

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What do you give a Penn State waterboy for Halloween - Candy

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A man. That is all.

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yo mama's so fat, her medical weight chart is much steeper than those of most women her age

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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