Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

Yes

What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

I guy goes into a coffee shop and says I'll have a coffee and a danish. The clerk says we're all out of danish. The guy says I'll just have the danish then.

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

Allah walked into AK Bar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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