Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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knock knock whos there cops o shit come on they found out about pot lets go

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

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what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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What come after 69? Time for you to get a watch

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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