- Anti Joke

What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

Q~ What did the black man say to the priate when he pulled out a AK47? A~ "This is a gun. im going to kill you with it."

What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because he was content where he was.

Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

Why didn't Sebastian get out of the forest? Because he got brutally murdered by a big bad wolf

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

What's the difference between a battered woman and a regular woman. There is absolutely no difference...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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