time to spruce up!

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*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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what do you call a farm without animals a house with a big yard

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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1st black guy: get a job 2nd black guy: i have one 1st black guy: okay

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Why are you asking me this question? That's awful and you should be ashamed of yourself.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops