- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

A boy got scratched by a dog and nearly killed him. When he grew up, a dog came running up to him and started biting and scratching him till he couldn't handle it. Then a plane crashed into him and he died.

Want to hear a joke? Obama

Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

I like school Said no one ever.

Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him