a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Your friend is so gay he has consensual sex with other men, and enjoys it.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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what comes in a can ? Beans Where do beans come from ? Cans

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? Pants.

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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how do you remove a black man from a car? Wash the bumper

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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