Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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What is fat and ginger? No...Not Garfield...Rebeka Tims

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, when the bass droped, my balls did too.

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What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why did the orange cross half way across the road Because it ran out of juice

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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What stops a train? A missile

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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