teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

A man walked into a bar with his parrot, a guy says 'That's a nice pet where did you get it?' 'From africa' The parrot said.

Two cows are out in a field grazing. One falls over and dies because it was unhealthy and was ravaged with a deadly disease. The other cow, which does not understand death, continues to graze until the farmer moves it back to the barn.

What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

what are you your not a human? are you an other?

Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

what's the worst part about owning a prius? telling your parents you're gay

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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