life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Dennis: you can make anything out of coppersulfate Austin: But copper sulfate can make things out of you

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You no what the biggest lie in history is? Agreeing to the terms and services whenever you sign up for a website

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

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A moose walks into a store, walking up to an employee he says "Where are the potatoes?" The employee replies "Isle 5." The moose thanks the employee and heads off to find Isle 5. Upon reaching isle 5- he finds no potatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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