Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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roses are red tulips are too, violets are violet, not freaking blue.

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You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

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The umpire asked the baseball coach "Who is that on 1st base?" The baseball coach said "Who." The umpire said "Yes, that's what I'm asking." The baseball coach handed the umpire a list of his players to avoid any further confusion.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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