Peter was sitting on a bench. He had a bag of 10 sweets and was eating them slowly. John and Anthony both wanted some, but Peter wanted to still have sweets left over. How many did he give them both? None. He's that selfish.

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

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What did the old man say to the young man? Nothing, the old man was dead.

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Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

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Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

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how do you get a dog to stop barking? you hit it with a stick.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

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What did the Rabbi get for Christmas? Nothing because as you know Rabbi's are members of the Jewish community and therefore don't celebrate Christmas.

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What did the Coke can say to the Pepsi can? Nothing it is a inanimate object and cannot speak.

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A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

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Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

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What did the guy say when he died? nothing, he was dead

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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How do you make a cripple cry Cut of his legs, THEN telll him a joke

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What is a bull like in a China Shop? Calm, because generally any bull you would find in a China shop is probably made out of porcelain.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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