A stipper walked into a club, though it was a golf club so she tripped and cracked her skull on it.The end.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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What is the best joke ever? 1D

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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