How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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Roses are Green Violets are Black Everything's different since I took crack

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? Boyscouts came back from camp

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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Your flying on a canoe, and one of the wheels breaks off. How many pancakes does it take to fix it? Trick question there is a gorilla on board.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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Whats worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Q: why did the black man kill the white man? A: he was clinically depressed, mentally unstable, and had a grudge against the white man that had nothing to do with his race.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops