you know why they're called ear wigs, right? cause they go in your ears! then they wig out? no, they kill you.

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what smells like a rose bud? a rose, bud.

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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