On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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what's inflation? a hollow cost.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops