What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

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Yo' mamma's so poor she's homeless and dying of starvation.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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roses are red, violets are blue, poems are stupid, refridgerator

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

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A white guy jumps over the fence belonging to a Mexican family

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I have a little dog. She likes being tossed high into the air. I need a new little dog as the last one was caught by a gust carrying here over the sound-dividing highway wall and dropped into traffic.

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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A Man Gets Cancer He eventually Loses all his hair and drops dead

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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What's worse that pooping in your pants having someone see it

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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What is black white green blue and is wet and blind and deaf and homosexual all at the same time? What ever I just described

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Leave. Now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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