A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

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whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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A white female funded a strong relationship with an african american male. One year later the white female was driving to work and had to slam on the breaks to stop a potention crash.

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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A Jew, a black man and a Christian enter a bar. Black people werent allowed in at the time so he was escorted out. The Jew And Christian have a blast and the time of their lives that night.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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" Want to hear a good anti-joke?! " " Sure! " " Me too. "

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a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "why the long face?". the horse answers..."i'm a horse"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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