Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But his one doesn't.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

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What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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What's a stupid joke on anti-joke? One that involves a random number with absolutely no meaning

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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Kys

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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