Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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A family has been forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?... Their insurance company.

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What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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Read a Book.

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WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

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How do you know if there is a monster under your bed? Monsters are mythical creatures that, even if they were real, would be unlikely to sleep under a child-sized bed.

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Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops