Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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My mom farted, now it smells, ewe. My mom just took of her shirt, BONER! My, friends mom took off her shirt, now he has a boner. We both have boners, and it smells bad. This is weird, me and my friend are very similar, except my mom farted and his mom did not. Now I hate my mom. UN-BONER!

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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why didn't Marlin monroe ( http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe ) use the iphone app guitar hero because she died before the iphone was invented !

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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