What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +24

a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +22

This isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A black man shoots some hoops. One of the bullets bounces off the rim and hits him in the eye. The man dies. His grandmother is still alive to attend his funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops