how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

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A handicapped man walks into a bar...

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

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what did one sandwich say to another sandwich? nothing, sandwiches cant talk

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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Hellen keller

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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