Stephen Hawking

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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GINGERVITIS! 1. redhair 2.freckles 3.no soul 4.depression/anger 5.gay JLR

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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Did you hear phonsi was Gay? I just found out too, he walked into the diner and said, "ive got AAIIIIIDS."

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

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A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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