Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

do u like chicken ? ....no good...cuz its for black people.

Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

Why was the man shot in the head twice? He wasn't because he died after the first and it is nearly impossible to survive a gunshot to the head.

Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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