What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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What was Hellen Keller's favorite color? Velcro.

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Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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Person 1:Did you hear the joke about the cat, the camera, and the pancakes? Person 2: No, I haven't. Person 1: Oh, that's too bad. Person 1 then gets up and walks into a refrigerator.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

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roses are red violets are red the whole world is red i started the holocaust

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what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, shit is brown and so are you

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

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This isn't funny.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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What's red and a cow? Red cow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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