What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

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how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says "Hey, we named a drink after you!". The grasshopper says "What, Dave?"

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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Set up Punch line.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

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Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

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Why did the black man run out of the shop with items under his jacket? He was shopping for groceries, when his brother texted him, letting him know that his wife had just gone into labour. He then realised that it was a very miserable rainy day outside and he didn't have an umbarella, so he payed for his items, and ran to his car.

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Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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A cowboy rides out to the middle of nowhere and then shoots his horse. He then makes his way back into town and meets a man in the saloon. The man says, "On second thought, I'd like to buy that horse."

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops