wanna hear a joke? yes

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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general tso's broccoli

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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where do some birds live in? Earth

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was standing next to you.

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Why did Shrek eat the onions? Anyone who has seen the Shrek films would know that Shrek never mentions anything about eating onions. In the first movie, Shrek and donkey have a conversation in which he compares himself to an onion, but the scene lasts maybe a minute and never again does Shrek mention onions in any way, shape, or form. For whatever reason, this one scene has turned onions into the strongest signature icon associated with Shrek.

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What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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Q: Why do people post the same anti-joke a bajillion times in a row? A: Because they are stupid ass holes with absolutely no life.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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You're American when you enter the the bathroom and you're American when you exit the bathroom. What are you while you're inside the bathroom? Using the bathroom.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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What kind of drug did the cops catch the alligator with? None. They were going to use a tranquiliser dart, but SPCA intervened and simply held the alligator's mouth shut while they loaded it into a secure cage.

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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