Roses are red Violets are blue My head itches I'm going to get this guy to itch it for me

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How does a black guy die? He doesn't , he's black

thumb_up thumb_down +10

1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Nick Comado say to the black person? Hello I live at 317 North 12th Street, Beech Grove, Indiana, USA. PLEASE come murder me and my family

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:What did the boy do when his girlfriend cheated on him? A:He broke up with her because cheating is wrong and he deserves better.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops