When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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asdasdasdasd

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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A black man walks down a high street and sees a white woman approaching. He bids her good day and they carry on their respective journeys. He then turns around and follows the white woman and rapes her in a dark alleyway, because as we all know, all black men are rapists.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they understand the fundamentals, work hard at becoming better, and have fun playing the game/

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops