What did the blind, deaf, and dumb child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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You know what the stupidest country in the world is? Equatorial Guinea

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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Knock knock whos there telephone telephone who telephone refiridgerator

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What's short and weak and has no life..........a Jordan pederson!

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Why was the blonde staring at the bottle of orange juice? She was reading the nutrition facts, as she was trying to watch her weight.

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

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A black man goes down to Alabama in the 1960s; He gets lynched.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

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why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Boo Boo who? Ah don’t be sad, Boo’s here to cheer you up!

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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