the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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friends are like snowflakes. if you piss on them they go away

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Whats black,white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What does a duck have in common? The further it flies the more.

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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You know what's funny? A well told joke

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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Why do Mexicans stink? Because they're Mexican.

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2 black kids walk into school

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Whats a blind catholics biggest fear? The priests power of chris compelling him

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

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Ok class, we are doing arts and crafts today, but remember, have fun and be creative... Thats what she said

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MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

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life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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What's the difference between Stephani and a momma hippo? The mother hippo is slowly but surely losing weight while Stephani is packing on the pounds! :)

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops