A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

"Knock knock" "Who's there?!, who's there?!!!, ya fucking asshole!!!, and quit knockin on my door!, my windows are fine!"

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you make an onion cry? Kill the chef.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

okay so theres this guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

thumb_up thumb_down -24

why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what you get time to go with? - a clock

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the ginger go to hell? Because after all the bullying she endured for her hair color, she felt her only option was to commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

thumb_up thumb_down -24

if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops