What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

The Ohio State Buckeyes

i have yougurt mit traktor

Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

Why did Suzie fall off the swings? Because she didn't have arms or legs. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

A redhead walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink. He says yes.

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

Rush Limbaugh

a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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