Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

The U.S. economy is in poor condition and it's downfall would have repercussions throughout the entire world.

Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

They see me trollin' They hatin'...

the joke below will not be as funny as this one.... hahaha other joke i just ruined you

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

What do you get when you cross a hippo with a dishwasher? 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.

What is black and likely to fail? A chain smokers lungs.

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and so am I

Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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