What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than Nickelback? Nothing. -Win G.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To commit suicide thus getting to the other side(hell/heaven)

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Hey, have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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Why didn't Jenny's mom give her any Christmas presents? She was a selfish, mean, woman and didn't care about her children.

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What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

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I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon? Nothing. He's dead.

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http://i.imgur.com/BJsbT.jpg

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telling real jokes on anti-joke is a form of anti jokes

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Two polar bears were sitting in a bathtub. One said to the other, "Could you pass the saop?". The other say, "What do you think I am, a typewriter?".

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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how do u drown a blond you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Where's Waldo? In rehab. Waldo is in rehab.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops