Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

WHATS A SHIT HOLE MOUNTNORRIS !!!!!!!!!!

Darnell has a 2 ounce gold chain around his neck. Gold is worth $1,639 per ounce. Where did Darnell steal the gold chain from?

Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

knock knock whose there banana banana who well, since a banana is a fruit and not human, it does not have parents and thus no last name was given to it.

"You're not very subtle, are you?" asked Nyacinth of the Prince. "Coo-fif," replied the Prince, a sly smile on his face.

What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

Ask me if im a tree? No

Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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